Be The You You Love

​Jessica Carey has lost more than 70 pounds through her health journey. She empowers women to find sustainable routines that work for them. 

Size vs. Strength. Finding Balance.

Eventually, Carey attended a class at MADabolic — a gym that uses interval training to focus on building strength and improving fitness — and just a few months later she was asking the owner how to become a trainer there herself. 

“I was building more muscle; I was like this different person, because I was more focused on building muscle and getting strong rather than just losing weight,” Carey said. “It felt good to make a switch from trying to be as small as possible to trying to be as strong as possible.”

Her role as a trainer at MADabolic has not only enabled Carey to share her story with others, it’s created deep, meaningful connections with other women who have experienced the same things she has — a journey with its share of shame and unattainable goals. 

“I feel this very strong calling to show up for women who struggled with body image and fad diets and fear of carbs and too much cardio and wanting to be as small as possible,” Carey said. “We’re chasing this thing and people think that it is something you need to do to look that way, but those are not sacrifices you want to take.”

Those sacrifices, Carey says, involve a lack of balance: Allowing the desire to lose weight to ultimately win over real life. 

“When I was (at my leanest) I was eating in my car at family functions,” Carey said. “I was not able to go out for milkshakes with my kids. Sometimes your goals require small sacrifices, but when you’re talking about your lifestyle I’m not willing to give those up forever.”

Now, Carey is consistently working out at 5 in the morning — something that hasn’t changed much since her at-home workout days. If she isn’t working out, she’s coaching others at MADabolic. Carey recently signed up for a HYROX competition — an intense fitness race where competitors complete eight functional workouts, each separated by a one-kilometer run. She plans on competing in the competition with her 21-year-old son, who was her very first accountability partner. 

“He was my workout buddy when he was 10 years old,” Carey said. “It’s pretty cool that we worked out together in my basement, and now we’re going to compete side-by-side in this HYROX race at the end of March.”

Carey is a mother of five children who she credits with holding her accountable and inspiring her to focus on strength while maintaining balance. 

Getting Started With a Short List

It’s important to keep in mind that Carey’s journey spans over several years, from focusing solely on weight loss to now understanding balance, strength and nutrition. Getting started — whether as a New Year’s resolution or as a lifestyle change for any other reason — can be overwhelming and extremely difficult. Carey encourages friends and people she trains to have a short list to complete each day. Her goals: 10,000 steps, drinking 100 ounces of water and consuming 100 grams of protein. 

“Start there, because when you can check those three boxes every day it feels good, you feel accomplished,” Carey said. 

Meredith Osborne, a licensed clinical social worker and yoga teacher, shares a similar sentiment: focus on small goals, no matter what they are, to help make those goals attainable.

“Setting small goals is good to build the habit and to prove to yourself that you can achieve your goals,” Osborne said. “Identify one area to work on at a time instead of making a bunch of changes at once, but also learn how to give yourself grace and let a little bit be good enough.” 

According to a 2024 Pew Research Center survey, three in ten Americans reported making at least one resolution that year. In a late 2023 Forbes poll where 1,000 American adults were surveyed, the average resolution lasted just under four months, with only one percent of those polled reporting sticking with their resolutions for 12 months. That same Forbes poll found that only 20 percent of participants tend to keep themselves accountable to their resolutions. 

‘Setting small goals is good to build the habit and to prove to yourself that you can achieve your goals.’ — Meredith Osborne, licensed clinical social worker and yoga teacher

“I think being able to notice when you get down on yourself for not achieving your goals and how you talk to yourself — that can often make things worse and some people can get stuck there,” Osborne said. “Instead of telling yourself you didn’t do enough, tell yourself that you’re trying and learning and growing.”

Many resolutions tend to focus on health and wellness, with the top five resolutions from that 2023 Forbes poll being to improve fitness, improve finances, improve mental health, lose weight and improve diet. While those resolutions are some of the most common every year, getting started, finding the right routine and setting realistic goals, is one of the hardest parts. 

“It feels really big and overwhelming when you don’t know where to start,” Osborne said. “In a general way, if people want to live a more conscious life or a more aware life, notice on a more consistent basis ‘How does my body feel? Where are my thoughts going? Can I take a few deep breaths?’ and pairing that with some sort of journaling could be really helpful.”

Anchored in Motivation

After setting an intentional goal and making a plan to achieve it, taking the action towards that goal can also present a challenge. Sometimes those actions are encased with fear. 

“Honing in on what your intention and what your motivation is, it’s not going to completely erase the fear, but will allow you to move through the fear, so identifying your motivation is really important so you have something to anchor in and know why you’re doing what you’re doing,” Osborne said. 

Eliminating the fears associated with stepping into the gym for the first time or cooking healthier foods is something Lianna Fry, wellness support director at the Greater Wichita YMCA, focuses on with the programming and atmosphere at the local YMCA branches. The YMCA focuses on creating spaces that fit every ability level, which also allow people to connect through group exercise and personal training. 

New Connections Through Community

“You will really connect with other people who are in that space, you’re going to find other individuals who are pursuing the same goals with you, but you’ll also find common interests and sometimes that’s across generations,” Fry said. 

If getting started is the hurdle, group exercise could provide a solution by eliminating the requirement to make a training plan yourself. Group exercise classes also facilitate new connections and become opportunities for maintaining accountability. 

“Getting to know the other members, the other class participants, people in a training group or the staff, that just takes the total well-being to the next level,” Fry said. “Community is something we need no matter what stage we are at.” 

The community aspect is something that Jon Meidinger, culinary arts coordinator at the Derby Recreation Commission (DRC), also focuses on. Nutrition is another common area of improvement for many Americans, and while the DRC hopes to instill knowledge of nutrition, cooking skills and a curiosity around food to participants in their culinary arts programs, socializing has a tremendous impact in their mission. 

‘Be a new food tryer.’

“Food is one of those things that is sometimes under-recognized, because it’s so omnipresent in our lives — we eat when we grieve, we eat when we celebrate, we eat when we’re excited,” Meidinger said. “Stepping back and being a little more appreciative of that and thinking about what we eat and how we eat and watching people just cook and eat together is one of the more pleasurable things we can do.” 

Oftentimes, nutrition goals focus on eating healthier, but fad diets and even calorie deficits can be difficult to maintain and often lead to weight gain later. The DRC offers classes from basic cooking skills to the Mediterranean Diet, and even classes that provide instruction for cooking your favorite take-out meals at home. 

“We see a lot of folks who have maybe become bored with their usual dietary routine, and so these classes give them ways to branch out a little bit and try different things and different flavors and techniques,” Meidinger said. “I love to see people try new foods — it’s the same thing my mom told me when I was a kid: ‘Be a new food tryer.’ And that seems to be the case for anyone who comes here, from three-year-old kids to 83-year-old adults, is to find some novelty in their diet, and that can be exciting.” 

Finding the right fit, whether that’s with exercise or diet, is something Carey knows well. 

“Don’t force a square peg into a round hole — if you’re not trying to go lift free weights and run on a treadmill, then find what works for you,” Carey said. “Maybe you’re a Pilates girl, maybe you would thrive in yoga or spin classes, there are so many options, try them all.” 

At the heart of Carey’s fitness journey is a simple act of love for herself. What started as a way to lose weight shifted her entire mindset — she is no longer so concerned with the number on the scale or the grams of carbs in the ice cream she shares with her daughters, she is strong and consistent. Carey has found a sense of happiness and love for herself that is not defined by numbers, but rather by emotion, energy and a constant reminder that despite the many roles she’s juggling, she, too, is a priority. 

“We need that one person to remind us that you’re worth the time, you’re worth the effort, your wants and needs matter, and when mom is fulfilled and happy, everybody else reaps the rewards,” Carey said. “If we are tired and run down and not fulfilled, we don’t show up as our best selves anyway; if a woman wants to be her best self, she’s got to be the one to put herself at the top of her list.”